Tonight as I tried to squeeze my newly large ass into what were once (aka before the trip) annoyingly stretched out jeans but are now absurdly and comically tight, I realized something: too-tight jeans are a sign of a great vacation had. It shows I really lived life on this trip. I mean what the hell is the point of going on vacation and coming back skinnier? It can only say one of two things: 1. The food freaking sucked, or 2. I had diahrrea the whole time. And who wants their body to say either of those foul things? I am really grateful that my body is deciding to say "I had one of the best vacations of my life, the food was out of this world, and I f-ing vivía la vida en 2007, goddamnit. So F all ya´ll and your skinny asses."
Needless to say, I am excited to share my food adventures with everyone. Just not yet.