I <3 Vermont!

Well, I started writing this three weeks ago, but i suck at completion.

FUN FOOD TIMES
Oh, is there anything quite like New England in the fall? NO, there isn't. Especially when it's Vermont, even more especially when it's a big ol' scooby doo missionary van full of fat kids type of New England adventure. We basically ate our way through the weekend. Take a look:

French fries + gravy + fucking cold = most delicious thing ever.


Just ask this guy - he took a fistful!

I've been hearing about this place, the Red Onion, from Lucy for about six years now. Everytime she talked about it she would turn the knife in me a little more. Oh cruel impossible desire.


The long awaited, infamous "red onion sandwich" - fresh homemade bread, roasted turkey, apples, RED ONIONS, tomatoes and honey mustard.


Look at these scones. Soo decadent.


Hot apple cider and freshly made donuts in this cart, just hanging out on the street. Burlington is what I imagine heaven must be like.


Before we hit the road, we squeezed in one more stuff-fest, which proved once again that brunch is the best meal by far.



Tuna Salad


Eggs Arcadia - like florentine but with crab cakes. Pure genius.


Our waiter described this as the "ULTIMATE HEAVY BRUNCH FOOD." It was called Napoleon something or other, probably because, you know, "an army marches on its stomach," or something equally prosaic.


Trent paid something like $10 for this water because it had flowed through rocks that were 450,000 years old. Clearly, he has never taken a science class. But look how HAPPY the trontle is! That's because he added gin for flavor.


In between eating we found other ways to entertain ourselves.


Like enjoying the New England foliage.


Tromping through a spoooky haunted forest. BOO!


Audrey was scared.


Annie was scared-er.


Cross-dressing. (67% say Trent wore it better. bastard.)


Cheersing every opportunity we had.


Visiting an apple mill. The German tourists there made it that much better.


And shopping for viking hats.

String Theory = hot.

So I read an article in the New Yorker today that basically explored the wild, rebel world of contesting the supremacy of string theory. very sexy. it fascinated me not because i can actually comprehend string and M theory deeply enough to be truly fascinated, but because of the comparison of string theory to religion. consider the thought of 95% of the world's physics community falling victim to this cult-like relgion/psuedo-science, adhering by their lives to a theory they can't prove but can "feel" the truth of, worshipping a weird genius leader dude named Witten (who, by the way, started out his career in politics and published an article in The Nation at the age of seventeen. He argued that the New Left had no political strategy in 1968. The MacArthur Foundation sure hit the nail on the head with that one - genius.) to a God-like status. The analogy seems eerily prescient.

Yet I absolutely adore string theory (again, to the extent one can actually adore something they are incapable of fully grasping). the supreme elegance, the unparalled beauty, the endless possibilities, the promise of other universes - it's just so irresistably glamorous, kind of like hollywood in the 50's. Makes me kick myself in the ass for not paying more attention during Mrs. Mattick's AP Physics class, not that that E&M bullshit could have held a handle to magnificent string theory. *sigh*


Just look at this guy! He's got God-like cult leader written all over him.



you telling me this doesn't turn you on?

ladrones, joder!

so my bike finally got stolen tonight. i'm actually surprised it lasted as long as it did, being a month or so unchained on a block where crackheads unabashedly hang out on the corner, making deals at 7:00 in the morning. it really became this social experiment for me. i mean, my last bike lasted one night on 4th and D, so this really does speak to the relative security of my neighborhood. still, it sucks it's gone. even though i couldn't ride it (because it's made only for giants), it sure was a nice 'ol bike, so pretty. and i was planning on selling it or giving it to some random stranger as part of another seemingly pointless social experiment.

in other news, i told more people tonight about the idea i've had for a year or so - to write a guide on how to eat authentically delicious chinese food in chinatown. it seems that even whiteys who speak fluent chinese struggle with this noble endeavor. i think for the good of mankind it's time for me to stop bullshitting around and just do it, damn it. if only my elpher weren't busy being broken...

End of Summer Reflections

Tonight I had dinner at Frank's with Lucy, Eliza, Trent, Annie and Max. We decided it was appropriate to toast, and I decided that it was even more appropriate to toast to "here's to the end of summer, beginning of fall, which i couldn't help notice today, with the leaves fallen on the ground." Annie remarked that that was a very Chinese thing for me to do, making a toast sound like a proverb.

Here are some highlights from my summer:

Trip to Thailand and China


The cutest damn kittens in the world lived outside our hostel in Beijing.


Seeing Dally made me intensely happy and really brought out the woman in me, if i do say so myself.


Shanghai = The Future


Singing karaoke. Bet you didn't know it could be this stressful.


Doggy Downtime


Hans Tang's new puppy Huey.


Duke meets Huey. Neither were quite sure what to make of the other.


mi familia.


ma-ma.


The Foods of Summer
One of the best things about summer is the abundance of fresh, delicious food. The farmer's market was especially good at providing.


Millions of peaches, peaches for me.


Beefsteak. mmmm...




Using all those fresh ingredients to make a vegan meal...


for newly (and obnoxiously) vegan Tront.

To Do (Before I Die)

I've had this idea in my head for sometime now that before I die, I would like to dedicate a significant portion of my time to analyzing the science behind delicious food. Everyone has individual tastes, and these tastes all differ. But certain outstanding foods seem to be almost universally appealing (Think: Haagen Daaz vanilla ice cream). In my constant quest to eat good food, I aim to quantify what that universal goodness factor really is.

My first project will be banana bread. Following the scientific method (remember that all you old farts?), I aim to tackle different recipes of banana bread in order to find what it is that makes for the perfect loaf:

1. Observation and description of a phenomenon or group of phenomena. Lots of different types of banana bread are yummy, but some some are yummier than others.

2. Formulation of an hypothesis to explain the phenomena. Breads that are yummier than others possess specific qualities that can be distinguished and identified.

3. Use of the hypothesis to predict the existence of other phenomena, or to predict quantitatively the results of new observations. The identification of these mmmm-inducing qualities will lend insight into the cause of the deliciousness factor of other foods.

4. Performance of experimental tests of the predictions by several independent experimenters and properly performed experiments. Me and my multiple personalities will bake several different banana breads using unique "Best Banana Bread" recipes. Double blind testing and rating of breads will ensue.



Nutty bread?


Chocolatey bread?


Triple the bread?


Man bread?

Agassi and Virgins

Tonight, I went to the opening ceremony of the U.S. Open. For those of you who don't know this, I derive from an intensely tennis obsessed family, and I myself am at times an uncontrollable, raging tennis nut.

Before getting into the details of one of the most jing cai matches i have ever seen, let me just recap the opening ceremony a bit. It was a tribute to the great Billie Jean King, one of the coolest athletes+lesbians of all time, though still trailing behind Martina the Queen by a little. Jon McEnroe, Jimmy Connors, Chris Evert, and Venus Williams were there, and they all gave these lame mini-speeches (except for McEnroe's, which was slighly amusing only because he's kind of an asshole). Bloomie was also there, doing his weird metrosexual bloomberg thing, as was Mayor Hinkins and Martina, not to mention Giesele and my new favorite Corporate member, Robert Deniro (both of whom, apparently, are camera averse. who knew?). Oh and Tony Bennet was there.


Did you know he is EIGHTY?


But the greatest thing of all was that DIANA ROSS was there. True to diva form, she even had a COSTUME CHANGE. She looked fabulous, and I was glad she was there to drown out that goddamned Tony Bennet's children's choir, or whatever that crap was. I kept telling Hans how amazing it would be if instead of having Mary Carillo commentate, Diana Ross just diva-sang all the commentary. Or maybe she could be the chair umpire. Fuck all that trying to make tennis sexy bullshit, here's a novel way for the USTA to boost interest in the sport!:


Oh my, look at that A-A-A-ACEEEE.

On to the match. Let's just say, the play in this match was closer and more riveting to watch than two monkeys in heat trapped inside a cardboard box. The crowd was going absolutely gaga for Agassi, but the funny thing was that he was playing Andrei Pavel of Romania. So everyone would be all "GO ANDRE," and Hans Tang and I would reply, "WHICH ONE?? WE'RE NOT SURE FOR WHOM YOU ARE CHEERING. CAN YOU PLEASE SPECIFY RECIPIENT TO AVOID FURTHER CONFUSION?"


I love you Andre!


(But which one??)

Anyways, it was so close, with both of them winning one set in tie-breakers. However, by the time Agassi was trailing 0-4 in the 3rd set,I was sure doom was pending. But then he came back 2-4, and I turned to the lady next to me and said "This will start his comeback." And, of course, my innate psychic tennis ability (known only by other members of the Tang clan) was once again on the money. Agassi won - 6-7 7-6 7-6 6- He might be the only one capable of challenging Safin as my favorite male player of all time.


In other news, can I just mention how excited I am that Dan won the date with Jane magazine's 29 year-old virgin?? In between driving celebrities around for the VMAS, he will go out on a date with her tomorrow night, probably to some east village jauntz. I'm planning on showing up incognito. I really hope Dan sleeps with this girl, but mainly to laugh at all the nasty and hilarious stories that would inevitably ensue. I am a bad, bad person.


Rolando is betting that Dan will be famous before year's end.

Getting My Mind Blown

Every now and then, while watching some sort of educational made for tv content, the insides of my head are completely blown to oblivion. my world is turned upside down, and my previous notions of reality are fucked. This first happened while watching the PBS special "The Elegant Universe." It happened again yesterday while watching BBC's "Blue Planet," THE DEEP segment. The Blue Planet is something Audrey, Jess and Dan have been obsessed with, but yesterday was Rolando, Mark, and my first experience. I'm pretty sure their minds were equally blown.

Here are some excerpts and FUN AND INTERESTING FACTS from the website:

1. Below 1,000 metres you enter the dark zone and an alien world. In a world where RED LIGHT DOES NOT EXIST!!!!, dark red jellyfish and shrimps float by, confident that they are almost completely invisible.

2. The only light here is produced by the animals themselves through BIOLUMINESCENCE.

3. Female angler fish use their lures to hook a male. Just one tenth the size of their partner, a male completely fuses itself on to the female's body, becoming little more than an attached bag of sperm (FOR LIFE!!)

4. In just a few places, along volcanic ridge lines, animals survive off energy produced by hot vents - totally without energy from the sun. Since their original discovery in 1979, a NEW SPECIES has been described EVERY 10 DAYS!!!



This is a real fish. OMG.



Ths Scientists call this guy "Dumbo."

Craziness, right? And the whole time they were talking about these crazy creatures and all the sea urchins that crawl along the ocean floor, 4000 meters below, i kept thinking "mmmm, i'll bet they's make for some good sushi. mmmm...uniiiii."







Jackie likes my idea.

Restaurant Review: Le Pain Quotidien

Max and I came here for a working girl's lunch today. It was half personal, half business - you know, the norm for us. Though it's a franchise (started in Brussels because some crazy chef wanted to make the perfect, most simple loaf of bread), the food here is really fresh and good, if a little pricey. All the weird little biblical references are kind of neat too. Like the "communal table" - I kept thinking I was going to turn around and see Jesus and his disciples breaking some daily bread and washing each other's feet, or something kind of creepy like that.



We ordered two open-faced sandwiches, or tartines, if you will. One was proscuitto with mozzarella and roasted peppers, the other jambon frances avec three mustards. The prosciutto tartine was to die for, with melt-in-your-mouth mozzarella and a perfect drizzling of pesto. The ham tartine was fine, great only if you love ham. We mainly ordered it because I was fixated with the prospect of not one, not two, but THREE mustards. For dessert, we decided on sharing a Belgian Brownie (Max didn't think I was excited enough for the apricot tart). This brownie, bigger than one of Max's child hands, was heaven - a deliciously dense, moist, not too-sweet triumph of decadence. The kind of brownie i daydream about at my desk when i'm trying to calm my 3:00 sugar pangs. Even the older lady who sat down next to us asked us if she could eat what we didn't finish. Ofcourse, we politely replied, "Fuck no, biatch."

Everything that everyone else was eating looked damn good as well. The service, on the otherhand was shitty. I don't think we could have gotten our waiter's attention even if we had been dirty whores. Our bill came to $35, including tax and tip.

On a scale on 1-10, this is how Le Pain Quotidien rates:
Overall*: 8
Food: 9 Space: 7 Service: 5 Value: 7

*food, being the only thing that really matters, is given more weight in the calculation of the overall score

Alvarado House Annual Pig Roast

Last Saturday I experienced my 3rd Alvarado house PIG ROAST, complete with fully roasted pig and all. As always, eating, drinking, music playing and dancing were the cornerstones of the night. As an added bonus, a few of Rolando's high school friends got BUTT naked. One of them didn't have pubic hair, and I have got to say that that was one of the more disturbing sights I have seen in my 23 years.

Dan took lots of party photos with his uber duber camera profesional:


Here is Trontle trying to get some milk out of his nipples, because he was thirsty after the vegan brownies he indulged in.


Jesse and I are just lounging around.


Graham looking very cool.


Annie looking very pretty and blue.


Eliza looking berry seXXXy.


Dan had a momentary lapse in sanity. He got in trouble -with RON!


Jess had a bad taste in her mouth. That's cause she just vommed all the cup'a'cup that she had inhaled.

We are trying to look sassy.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again , goddamnit.

I'm going to start blogging. For real this time. Well, probably not for real since I have the attention span of a small child. Regardless, I will try, and that's all that matters anyways.

My brother is amazing

Check out what my brother wants to bring our dog duke to: http://goldstock2006.org/
It's like a Woodstock for Golden Retrievers. Isn't that WEIRD? Isn't that FUNNY? But, most of all, isn't that CUTE?

Reiteration is key

To reiterate my new drunkn-blogging/what is missing in music and art today theme, here is a drunken email I wrote Rolando, but for some reason sent to Jesse instead:

YESM i am so there.
i rant into cosmso today on the train, so learned even more about the
acta who will be preforming. as you can probablyh detect mr. rojello,
i am fruuuuuunk drunk. but i had an interesting conversation about
what's missing inmusic and art these days with several people. i
think you are capable of filling that void, atleast to a larger extent
to all others who have tried. caryyon rlandjello, and make me damn
proud.

love, yours as alwaYS,
IZZY TWOFACE

PS I AM SOTTY I AM SO DRUNJK. IT HAS BEEN A WHILLLLE. HAD TO LET LOOS.
YOU KNOW HOW ITIS

Drunken Blogging

So I've decided, based on the last two blogs and despite the intolerable cruelty of "publishing" so many nasty ass typos, my thing is the drunken blogging thing. yes. love it.

ps did you notice how blogspot underlines "blog" in red, as if it were spelled incorrectly? talk about dumbass.

FOR EXAMPLE...

yesterday i downloaded the Symphonie Espagnole by LALO. it was a piece i had been a part of playing my senior year of high school.. THAT IS SOME HONEST, RAW, kicks you in the stomach shit. THAT IS WAHT IS MISSING TODAY!!

also, i jeust wanbted to mention how EXCITED i am to go skiing tomorrow on the GAYEST QUADRUPLE DATE EVER with jefffery marx, jessicraw lud, and jmo. TO THE MOUNTAIN WHERE I LEARNED HOW TO SKI ON AS A FOUR YEAR OLD I THNK> omd so excirted, passing out from the excitement...

Revelation # 498

TodaY I had several conversations with people that kind of served as a foolllow up to that last blof i wrote. i think my point to make is that what is missin g from my/our/the generation today is a true feeling of emphatic connection. music/movies/art, whathaveyou, is so much catered to a superficial level of appreciation, that most of it today misses that one link that matters- the abilty to make someone, completley foreign and unaware of it, connect to the piece. for example, i was talking with lucifer about why egon schiele was so amazing. we realized it was because there was that depth, that R A W emotion, that we were able to connect to , on som inexplicable level, really FEEL. that strength in ffeeling is so much missing in what is produced these days, and testifies to why our generation is turning into such a WASTELAND of the T.S. eliot cvariety.

on another note, on my way home from the bar, eliza and ihad a VERY genuine connection with our driver. we talked about why chinese boys were like chinese girls, and how latinas son muy fuerrrte en nueva york. THAT was a real human connection, never mind the state of intoxication involved. that was REAL and that was HONESt, and that is what most of us crave. that is why the music we are listening, and the movies we are seeing, are not wholly fulkfilling...their void is their sincerity and honesty, their RAWNESS iffff you will.

otra cosa...hoy dia el secretario de defenso DONALD RUMSFELD (aka THE axis of evil) hablo en el Council. it was MUUUUY scary, and i will have to elaborate more, mas tarde.

I drowned in my own self-absorption

So one of the reasons I have always been so disdainful of/violently opposed to blogs is because it provides a massive outlet for the shameless self-absorption our generation exudes. Yet, being as much a part of this joke of a generation as i am, i can't deny my own pitiful state of utter self-absorption. so, acknowledging that reality is how i unwittingly (or completely purposefully) ended up here. completely depleted of soul, portioned and sold to all the blog gods, the i-devils, razr phn demons and myspace megolomaniacs of the world. pity me.

on that note, i:
1. have HIGH cholesterol (proof that my presidency of the fat kid's club is fully justified)
2. am going to relive my childhood via skiing this weekend in the poconos
3. am going to start a musical troupe
4. think g-chatting is just fabulous.
5. have a new favorite song - "cheney's got a gun"

ok, that is all. as the gays say in union square, "gmail me!"

End of the strike reflections

woooweeee am i glad the strike is over. here are my conflicting and VERY BORING opinions on the whole thing:

on one hand, it was nice to see that organized labor still had some force in the U.S. Cutbacks in workers' benefits coupled with (ridiculously) rising health costs is a huge problem for a lot of non-rich people, and that definitely needs addressing. however, it's not really the employers' fault if medical costs are rising so rapidly. and they can't control the fact that life expectancy has also risen so much. i think the big pharmas and healthcare industry should be the ones to dole out some side payments here to ease the burden on the ones who are hurting from their profiteering.

anyways, i think the lessons here to be learned are:
1. unions can suck when their leaders are stuck on an ideological mission that blind their judgment of what's fair.
2. life expectancy rising = retirement age has the right to rise as well. 62 is NOT a ridiculous age to retire.
3. someone has to tackle the issue of healthcare costs rising as if they were the cost of brownstones on prospect place.
4. mta workers get paid SO much more than i do. i am quitting my job and becoming a train conductor, like i've always wanted to do!

apologies

it's been brought to my attention that my assumption that no one would check my blog for posts was false. i apologize for assuming, i made an ass out of U and MING (my great-grandmother from Hunan).